AND THE OSCAR GOES TO...THE ACADEMY AND THE VIEWING AUDIENCE

  It was announced today that film director Bret Ratner and comedian Eddie Murphy would not
produce and host the Oscar telecast next February.  Ratner 'resigned' after angering hundreds of Academy members for making homophobic comments earlier this week on the Howard Stern radio show and boasting about all the hot Hollywood babes that he has fucked in recent times,
the size of his pecker and not using condoms when having sex.
  Murphy, who stars in Ratner's latest film, TOWER HEIST, bowed out as host soon after Ratner
made his announcement.  Meanwhile, the Academy hierarchy is freaking out because a new producer and host must now be found so rehearsals can begin prior to the Oscar telecast next
February.
  Next February???  Isn't that nearly 4 months from now.  And aren't most of the jokes and script written AFTER the nominations are announced in January.  So I have to ask...what's the
problem here? 
  As far as Ratner and Murphy are concerned - good riddance.  Ratner's background includes making music videos and directing a couple of the RUSH HOUR comedies and one of the X-MEN movies.  His bio says he attended school in Israel before graduating from Miami Beach High School in Florida and NYU in 1990.  Judging by some of the comments he made while being interviewed by Stern, he sounds like a class A asshole.   It seems to  me that the Academy must have been desperate to find someone to co-produce the next Oscars telecast
because there is nothing - I mean nothing - in Ratner's background to suggest that he would in fact produce a dynamite show next February.
  As for Murphy, I would have been willing to betcha a crisp hundred dollar bill that he would suck big time as host and probably offend more than a few viewing the show live and on tv.
Murphy can still be funny - as long as he has a funny script - and he has done some fine work in some dramatic roles, but the Academy made a big mistake in turning to him to host the annual telecast which he was probably doing because Ratner had been signed to co-produce and direct the show. 
  In truth, short of having hot guys and gals galloping up and down the theatre aisles and running across stage butt naked, there isn't a lot to be done to make the Oscars exciting and worth wasting 3 hours over. 
  Most of the bigger than life movie stars are dead - Bette Davis, Joan Crawford, Audrey Hepburn, Cary Grant, Paul Newman, Elizabeth Taylor, James Stewart, Natalie Wood and
Richard Burton.  Back when I was a kid and counting the days in breathless excitement anticipating the Oscar telecast, it was the one night of the year that you saw all the cinema greats live on tv. 
  Nowadays, the Oscar telecast is anticlimatic, what with a myriad of awards shows (Screen Actors Guild, People's Choice, Director's Guild, etc., etc., etc.,) that begin in early December and culminate in late February wiith the Oscars when you pretty much know who's going to win the major acting awards.
  All the same, millions still tune in and many of us have written blogs putting in our 10 cents worth of advice on how to make the telecast fun to watch.
  I'll offer only one suggestion here and it's a no brainer at that:  beg Billy Crystal to return as m.c. and if he won't do it, ask Neal Patrick Harris.  Better yet, ask both off them to co-host the show.
  For what it's worth, I'm betting on Steven Spielberg's Xmas release, WAR HORSE, the film adaptation of the Tony award winning play still playing to sold out audiences on Broadway, to
take the Oscar for best film this year.
  You heard it first here.