This is truly the golden age of film documentaries - far too many good ones to mention here - and the genre has become my favorite kind of cinema. I see as many as I can. Generally they play on only 1 or 2 screens in town and usually never more than a couple weeks.
Such is the case with THE AUTOBIOGRAPHY OF NICOLAE CEAUSESCU now playing at the West End Cinema in D.C. It runs over 3 hours without an intermission and were I to recommend it (I'm not), I would urge you to have a sandwich and visit the restroom off the lobby before sitting down in the screening room (which isn't much larger than my living room) to view it.
The first time I attempted to see it, my sister and I left before it began after the projectionist came out and explained to the 12 of us in the audience that there had been a problem at the afternoon screening with the print and that there were moments during the film when the screen would go dark and the audio would go off.
We took it as an omen - a bad one at that - and got up from our padded folding chairs and departed, but not before we got raincheck tix to come back another time.
So today, since I had no other plans than to feed peanuts to my little squirrel friends at Dupont Circle, I
decided to bike down to the theatre and catch the 2:30 matinee. I snuck in a sandwich from Subway and a coke from CVS so I wouldn't have hunger pains at any time during the film.
After a couple trailers and a "let's all go to the lobby, let's all go to the lobby, let's all go to the lobby, and get ourselves some treats" trailer from the 1950s, the documentary began with Nicolae and his 'rifftica' wife
being interrogated by court officials shortly before their trial and subsequent execution on Xmas Day, 1989.
We then cut to the state funeral of Gheorghe Gheorghiu-Dej, who ruled Romania with an iron fist from post WWII until his death in 1965. And what a funeral it was, judging by the size of the crowd - thousands of
people in line to view "G-G"s open casket and the thousands who followed it to the place of internment which sorta looked like the entrance to FedEx Stadium here in Landover, Md. Whatever.
So far, so good, I'm thinking, although I became acutely aware at this point that there was no narration.
In fact, there were moments where there was no sound at all and then there were moments when the screen went black. Then I remembered what the projectionist had told my sister and I when we were there a week ago. Can't say I wasn't warned.
I suddenly felt hungry and decided not to wait another minute before unwrapping my spicy Italian sub and biting into it. Not bad. I opened the coke bottle and took a big swig before giving my complete attention to the screen (that was barely bigger than my 60" flat tv screen at home).
For the next 60 minutes or thereabouts I watched a lot of hand clapping at Communist party rallies where Nicolae droned on and on and on about the virtues of Romania's socialist society and Communist rule, etc., etc., etc. I had read that director Andrei Ujica had viewed over 1,000 hours of film before editing and compiling this 3 hour pageant of handclapping and crowds. All I could think was - this was the best footage that he could come up with?
Now I have to be honest with you. I didn't make it to the end. Not even close. Despite the rave review of one of my favorite print critics - Manohla Dargis of the NY Times - and despite the fact that I wasn't hungry and didn't have to pee, I bolted towards the exit of the screening room just as Richard Nixon was about to speak standing next to dear ole Nicolae during his state visit to Romania in 1970 (or thereabouts) and left but not before yelling, "May they both be rotting in Hell."
Have a nice day.
'
Thursday, October 20, 2011
Thursday, October 13, 2011
50/50 - A TOTALLY SATISFYING LAUGH OUT LOUD COMEDY
I know. I know. My previous rant on my blog was about ridiculous film critic quotes that studios use in promoting their new films and here I am using two of them in my title here: "totally satisfying" and "laugh out loud comedy", but they both apply to 50/50 which I saw earlier today and thoroughly enjoyed.
First, a personal admission on my part: I've had a crush on Joseph Levitt-Gordon ever since I saw him in a film in which he played a young gay hustler, only to be intensified in 500 Days of Summer but nearly lost when he appeared in Inception. With 50/50, he shoots to the top of my fantasy man list with arguably his best and most likable performance to date. Written by Will Reiser and based on his actual experience of nearly dying from a Cancerous tumor in his back, the film is deftly directed by Jonathan Levine who has assembled a terrific supporting cast, starting with Seth Rogen who in real life was/is a good friend of Reiser's and portrays his best friend in the film. Rogen is letter perfect and funny as hell. Anna Kendrick as Levitt-Gordon/Reiser's inexperienced psychotherapist, Bryce Dallas Howard as his girlfriend who bales out on him after his diagnosis
and Anjelica Huston as his loving but overbearing mother are terrific and oh so human.
But it is Gordon-Levitt who makes the film such a treat. Not a false note in his funny and touching performance, the kind of accomplishment that deserves recognition at Oscar nomination time but is always overlooked because it looks so easy. Ok...ok. I'm gushing over my fantasy man.
Yes, this is a LAUGH OUT LOUD comedy. At least I did. And yes, you will LAUGH...you will CRY.
There is a moment when Gordon-Levitt is alone in bed with his dog (an aging mutt from a pet shelter forced on him by his girlfriend soon after his Cancer diagnosis) that is so touching that if you don't cry, your heart must have turned to stone somewhere between the refreshment stand in the lobby and your theatre seat.
50/50 is 100 percent entertainment. Go and enjoy.
First, a personal admission on my part: I've had a crush on Joseph Levitt-Gordon ever since I saw him in a film in which he played a young gay hustler, only to be intensified in 500 Days of Summer but nearly lost when he appeared in Inception. With 50/50, he shoots to the top of my fantasy man list with arguably his best and most likable performance to date. Written by Will Reiser and based on his actual experience of nearly dying from a Cancerous tumor in his back, the film is deftly directed by Jonathan Levine who has assembled a terrific supporting cast, starting with Seth Rogen who in real life was/is a good friend of Reiser's and portrays his best friend in the film. Rogen is letter perfect and funny as hell. Anna Kendrick as Levitt-Gordon/Reiser's inexperienced psychotherapist, Bryce Dallas Howard as his girlfriend who bales out on him after his diagnosis
and Anjelica Huston as his loving but overbearing mother are terrific and oh so human.
But it is Gordon-Levitt who makes the film such a treat. Not a false note in his funny and touching performance, the kind of accomplishment that deserves recognition at Oscar nomination time but is always overlooked because it looks so easy. Ok...ok. I'm gushing over my fantasy man.
Yes, this is a LAUGH OUT LOUD comedy. At least I did. And yes, you will LAUGH...you will CRY.
There is a moment when Gordon-Levitt is alone in bed with his dog (an aging mutt from a pet shelter forced on him by his girlfriend soon after his Cancer diagnosis) that is so touching that if you don't cry, your heart must have turned to stone somewhere between the refreshment stand in the lobby and your theatre seat.
50/50 is 100 percent entertainment. Go and enjoy.
Sunday, October 9, 2011
BEWARE OF CERTAIN CRITIC QUOTES ADVERTISING FILMS
The ARTS/LEISURE section of the NY Times and Washington Post (and when I lived in LA the LA Times) has always been my favorite part of the newspaper and not the least the ads for first run movies that feature critic quotes in BIG BOLD type. But you have to be very careful when deciding what movies you wanna see on the basis of these quotes because they are very often taken out of context or from critics whose 'thumbs up' can be bought for as little as a free dinner.
Accordingly, I am offering a few tips to readers to help them discern which critics to pay attention to and what quotes - no matter how positive - are warning signs to avoid seeing these films at any cost.
Par example, pass on any film recommended by Pete Hammond who writes for BoxOffice Magazine,
Jeff Craig of SixtySecond Preview and any film critic on Fox Network. Another film critic to avoid is Susan Granger whose son was a productive executive at Paramount Pictures where I worked for 26 years and it was rumored that anytime you needed a positive quote for a new film ( no matter how awful it was), you could get one from Ms. Granger.
You should also avoid any film whose print ads feature quotes from critics in newspaper from
Ft. Lauderdale (Fla), Detroit, Phoenix, Birmingham (Ala) and any city in Texas (except Austin).
Do pay attention to the print reviews of most film critics in the NY Times, especially Manohla Dargis and A. O. Scott, Rex Reed in the NY Observer, Anthony Lane in the New Yorker and Ann Hornaday in the Washington Post (although I disagree with Ms. Hornaday a lot she's a terrific writer and I enjoy reading her reviews).
My favorite print critic of all time is the late Pauline Kael of the New Yorker and David Ansen who was the senior film critic for Newsweek for many years. I worshipped Ms. Kael and idolized Mr. Ansen.
Beware - I repeat - beware of critic quotes for films that read as follows:
"YOU WILL STAND UP AND CHEER..."
"YOU WILL LAUGH, YOU WILL CRY..."
"THIS IS A LAUGH OUT LOUD COMEDY..."
"ACHINGLY HILARIOUS...ALSO HEARTFELT."
"PROVOCATIVE...GRIPPING"
"POSITIVELY THRILLING...ENTHRALLING...SENSATIONAL."
"UPLIFTING...INSPIRATIONAL...TOTALLY SATISFYING."
"THE BLIND SIDE MEETS SAVE WILLIE"
"BEST FAMILY (or COMEDY or DRAMA) TO COME ALONG IN A DECADE"
"THIS IS AN IMPORTANT FILM"
"GREAT HEART...ANOTHER 'ROCKY'"
I could go on and on but I think you get my point and the above should provide you with enough warning signs to beware of certain films. Oh, and watch out when a critic says that a film is a mix of 2 films (i.e. The Big Chill meets Pretty in Pink, etc, etc etc) or says that the performances are...
ELECTRIFYING. Like when was the last time you saw a movie and left the theatre thinking that the lead actor's performance was 'electrifying'?
I recently saw MONEYBALL with Brad Pitt and enjoyed it though like the game of baseball it depicts, it has some pretty dull moments in it. Had I reviewed the film for a column, I would have given it a 'thumbs up' but I don't think I would have said that it ..."WILL LEAVE YOU CHEERING...POSITIVELY THRILLING as one critic raved or that it "RENEWS YOUR BELIEF IN THE POWER OF MOVIES" as another critic said.
Beware of hyperbole moviegoers. Any film that get such hype ends up disappointing. You are better off entering your local multiplex with low expectations of what you are about to see and end up being happily surprised by how much you enjoyed the movie.
And my last piece of advice is to be very, very careful when you watch trailers of coming attractions because they are most often misleading. I've seen trailers that knocked me out only to bore the hell out of me when I finally saw the film. Studios long ago learned how to make terrific trailers for lousy films. Be careful. Very careful and you will learn how to avoid wasting your hard earned dollars seeing DRECK.
Have a nice day. See ya at the movies.
Accordingly, I am offering a few tips to readers to help them discern which critics to pay attention to and what quotes - no matter how positive - are warning signs to avoid seeing these films at any cost.
Par example, pass on any film recommended by Pete Hammond who writes for BoxOffice Magazine,
Jeff Craig of SixtySecond Preview and any film critic on Fox Network. Another film critic to avoid is Susan Granger whose son was a productive executive at Paramount Pictures where I worked for 26 years and it was rumored that anytime you needed a positive quote for a new film ( no matter how awful it was), you could get one from Ms. Granger.
You should also avoid any film whose print ads feature quotes from critics in newspaper from
Ft. Lauderdale (Fla), Detroit, Phoenix, Birmingham (Ala) and any city in Texas (except Austin).
Do pay attention to the print reviews of most film critics in the NY Times, especially Manohla Dargis and A. O. Scott, Rex Reed in the NY Observer, Anthony Lane in the New Yorker and Ann Hornaday in the Washington Post (although I disagree with Ms. Hornaday a lot she's a terrific writer and I enjoy reading her reviews).
My favorite print critic of all time is the late Pauline Kael of the New Yorker and David Ansen who was the senior film critic for Newsweek for many years. I worshipped Ms. Kael and idolized Mr. Ansen.
Beware - I repeat - beware of critic quotes for films that read as follows:
"YOU WILL STAND UP AND CHEER..."
"YOU WILL LAUGH, YOU WILL CRY..."
"THIS IS A LAUGH OUT LOUD COMEDY..."
"ACHINGLY HILARIOUS...ALSO HEARTFELT."
"PROVOCATIVE...GRIPPING"
"POSITIVELY THRILLING...ENTHRALLING...SENSATIONAL."
"UPLIFTING...INSPIRATIONAL...TOTALLY SATISFYING."
"THE BLIND SIDE MEETS SAVE WILLIE"
"BEST FAMILY (or COMEDY or DRAMA) TO COME ALONG IN A DECADE"
"THIS IS AN IMPORTANT FILM"
"GREAT HEART...ANOTHER 'ROCKY'"
I could go on and on but I think you get my point and the above should provide you with enough warning signs to beware of certain films. Oh, and watch out when a critic says that a film is a mix of 2 films (i.e. The Big Chill meets Pretty in Pink, etc, etc etc) or says that the performances are...
ELECTRIFYING. Like when was the last time you saw a movie and left the theatre thinking that the lead actor's performance was 'electrifying'?
I recently saw MONEYBALL with Brad Pitt and enjoyed it though like the game of baseball it depicts, it has some pretty dull moments in it. Had I reviewed the film for a column, I would have given it a 'thumbs up' but I don't think I would have said that it ..."WILL LEAVE YOU CHEERING...POSITIVELY THRILLING as one critic raved or that it "RENEWS YOUR BELIEF IN THE POWER OF MOVIES" as another critic said.
Beware of hyperbole moviegoers. Any film that get such hype ends up disappointing. You are better off entering your local multiplex with low expectations of what you are about to see and end up being happily surprised by how much you enjoyed the movie.
And my last piece of advice is to be very, very careful when you watch trailers of coming attractions because they are most often misleading. I've seen trailers that knocked me out only to bore the hell out of me when I finally saw the film. Studios long ago learned how to make terrific trailers for lousy films. Be careful. Very careful and you will learn how to avoid wasting your hard earned dollars seeing DRECK.
Have a nice day. See ya at the movies.
Thursday, October 6, 2011
AFI LATIN AMERICAN FILM FESTIVAL
Hola, amigas. Par favor. Habla espanol? Afraid not. Although after seeing 13 films (thus far) at the AFI Latin American Film Festival in Silver Spring, Md., you would think I would be fluent in the language by now. Alas,
I ain't, but at the same time I must say I'm getting more comfortable listening to Spanish while reading the English subtitles.
The festival started on September 22 and by the time it ends (Oct 8) over 40 films will have been shown. I bought a 'pase especial' which gives me priority access to all the films. It costs a mere $100 (for AFI members of which I am one) and if I were to attend each and every film during the festival, it would be worth over $400.
Such a deal. Of course, I hardly expect to see all 40 films and will probably see about 15 all told. Further,
most of the films have been shown in the renovated Silver theatre (built in 1938) that seats 700 and I don't think there have been more than 50 people in the theatre for any film I've seen since opening night when all seats were taken.
The festival opened with a terrific documentary from Mexico called THE MEXICAN SUITCASE which was about a suitcase holding over 4,500 photo negatives, the work of 3 young European photographers, that were taken during the Spanish Civil War. The suitcase was found in an apartment closet in Mexico City in 2007. The film deals with not only the mystery of how the suitcase was found but also with the living history of people affected by the civil war. This is yet another brilliantly put together documentary film and it deserves to be seen by a wide audience.
Of the many films I've seen two stand out as my favorites. The first is a delightful romantic comedy from Argentina called MEDIANERAS which is about a couple that live in buildings across from each other and keep just missing each other on the street. You just know these 2 lonely-hearts - one a newly single architect who pays her rent designing store windows, the other a web designer who spends most of his time in front of his pc monitor making dates with gals online that he has no intention of keeping - will eventually meet but the getting there is a delight and the 2 leads are irresistible. Stay for the closing credits when they lip sync the great r&b oldie, "Aint No Mountain High Enough".
My second favorite film is from Mexico called THE GOOD HERBS, in essence about a mother-daughter relationship. The mother studies herbal remedies and believes that they can heal not just the body but the soul as well. The daughter, a new-age hippie, must put her life on hold to care for her mother when the latter is diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease and begins to deteriorate rapidly. Incredible cinematography, beautifully written and acted, I can't recommend this film enough.
Another film that I enjoyed and touched my heart, also from Mexico, is called ABEL, about a young boy who has refused to talk since his father walked out on him, his mother, teenage sister and baby brother 2 years earlier and has been in a psychiatric hospital when the film opens. He returns home and suddenly begins talking again, but in the voice of an adult, the man of the house. A box office sensation in Mexico, it was showcased at this year's Sundance Film Festival and deserves a distributor for viewing in USA.
I also enjoyed a documentary from Panama which gives a revealing look into the lives of wealthy families there and those they employ as maids. I wish it was longer than the 64 minutes it ran because it was poignant and very, very funny.
Another film, Brazilian made and the biggest earner in that country's cinema history, is about police and political corruption in Rio de Janiero, a sequel entitled ELITE SQUAD 2: THE ENEMY WITHIN. Pulsating, suspenseful and beautifully acted, it was also shown at this year's Sundance Festival. A dynamite movie.
Another terrific film from Brazil was about how 2 high school aged brothers deal with their parents' separation and their father coming out of the closet and taking a male partner. This could have been maudlin and forgettable but the husband/wife writer/director team makes it funny, tender and warm. A film to be embraced called THE BEST THINGS IN THE WORLD.
The last film I'll mention is from Portugal called MYSTERIES OF LISBON. Originally shown in six one-hour segments on TV there, it has been cut to 4 hours and 30 minutes (with a 20 minute intermission) for viewing in American theatres. It shows because I felt I needed a scorecard to keep up with all the characters and their
'mishegas'. About a boy who grows up in an orphanage in 19th century Europe and spends a lifetime unraveling the story of his parents covering over 3 decades. The film maker, Raul Rulz, is well known throughout Latin America and recently died, probably as much from making this incredibly long film as from old age.
The festival concludes on Oct. 8 with the appearance of Mexican filmmaker Gerardo Naranjo and the screening of his latest film, MISS BALA which was shown at the 2011 Cannes Film Festival. Washington Post film critic Ann Hornaday has raved about this film and I am looking forward to seeing it.
I've also seen films from Columbia, Peru, Ecuador, Guatemala, El Salvador, Chile and Venezuela, some very good and some not so good.
Just to take a break from all the Spanish language films, I took in MONEYBALL with Brad Pitt and enjoyed it, although like the game itself (baseball), I found it to be a tad boring. Pitt gives another terrific performance and if he doesn't get an Oscar nom for TREE OF LIFE, he surely will get one for this film.
One last comment I'll make about the Spanish language films I've seen thus far at the festival has to do with the lasting impression of seeing people brush their teeth. In just about every film one character or several are shown in the bathroom (or kitchen) brushing their God damn teeth. I kept looking to see if a tube of Colgate or Crest was gonna show up as so often happens in American made films (product placement, don't ya know).
On that note, I'll close for now and say, 'Adios, amigo'.
I ain't, but at the same time I must say I'm getting more comfortable listening to Spanish while reading the English subtitles.
The festival started on September 22 and by the time it ends (Oct 8) over 40 films will have been shown. I bought a 'pase especial' which gives me priority access to all the films. It costs a mere $100 (for AFI members of which I am one) and if I were to attend each and every film during the festival, it would be worth over $400.
Such a deal. Of course, I hardly expect to see all 40 films and will probably see about 15 all told. Further,
most of the films have been shown in the renovated Silver theatre (built in 1938) that seats 700 and I don't think there have been more than 50 people in the theatre for any film I've seen since opening night when all seats were taken.
The festival opened with a terrific documentary from Mexico called THE MEXICAN SUITCASE which was about a suitcase holding over 4,500 photo negatives, the work of 3 young European photographers, that were taken during the Spanish Civil War. The suitcase was found in an apartment closet in Mexico City in 2007. The film deals with not only the mystery of how the suitcase was found but also with the living history of people affected by the civil war. This is yet another brilliantly put together documentary film and it deserves to be seen by a wide audience.
Of the many films I've seen two stand out as my favorites. The first is a delightful romantic comedy from Argentina called MEDIANERAS which is about a couple that live in buildings across from each other and keep just missing each other on the street. You just know these 2 lonely-hearts - one a newly single architect who pays her rent designing store windows, the other a web designer who spends most of his time in front of his pc monitor making dates with gals online that he has no intention of keeping - will eventually meet but the getting there is a delight and the 2 leads are irresistible. Stay for the closing credits when they lip sync the great r&b oldie, "Aint No Mountain High Enough".
My second favorite film is from Mexico called THE GOOD HERBS, in essence about a mother-daughter relationship. The mother studies herbal remedies and believes that they can heal not just the body but the soul as well. The daughter, a new-age hippie, must put her life on hold to care for her mother when the latter is diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease and begins to deteriorate rapidly. Incredible cinematography, beautifully written and acted, I can't recommend this film enough.
Another film that I enjoyed and touched my heart, also from Mexico, is called ABEL, about a young boy who has refused to talk since his father walked out on him, his mother, teenage sister and baby brother 2 years earlier and has been in a psychiatric hospital when the film opens. He returns home and suddenly begins talking again, but in the voice of an adult, the man of the house. A box office sensation in Mexico, it was showcased at this year's Sundance Film Festival and deserves a distributor for viewing in USA.
I also enjoyed a documentary from Panama which gives a revealing look into the lives of wealthy families there and those they employ as maids. I wish it was longer than the 64 minutes it ran because it was poignant and very, very funny.
Another film, Brazilian made and the biggest earner in that country's cinema history, is about police and political corruption in Rio de Janiero, a sequel entitled ELITE SQUAD 2: THE ENEMY WITHIN. Pulsating, suspenseful and beautifully acted, it was also shown at this year's Sundance Festival. A dynamite movie.
Another terrific film from Brazil was about how 2 high school aged brothers deal with their parents' separation and their father coming out of the closet and taking a male partner. This could have been maudlin and forgettable but the husband/wife writer/director team makes it funny, tender and warm. A film to be embraced called THE BEST THINGS IN THE WORLD.
The last film I'll mention is from Portugal called MYSTERIES OF LISBON. Originally shown in six one-hour segments on TV there, it has been cut to 4 hours and 30 minutes (with a 20 minute intermission) for viewing in American theatres. It shows because I felt I needed a scorecard to keep up with all the characters and their
'mishegas'. About a boy who grows up in an orphanage in 19th century Europe and spends a lifetime unraveling the story of his parents covering over 3 decades. The film maker, Raul Rulz, is well known throughout Latin America and recently died, probably as much from making this incredibly long film as from old age.
The festival concludes on Oct. 8 with the appearance of Mexican filmmaker Gerardo Naranjo and the screening of his latest film, MISS BALA which was shown at the 2011 Cannes Film Festival. Washington Post film critic Ann Hornaday has raved about this film and I am looking forward to seeing it.
I've also seen films from Columbia, Peru, Ecuador, Guatemala, El Salvador, Chile and Venezuela, some very good and some not so good.
Just to take a break from all the Spanish language films, I took in MONEYBALL with Brad Pitt and enjoyed it, although like the game itself (baseball), I found it to be a tad boring. Pitt gives another terrific performance and if he doesn't get an Oscar nom for TREE OF LIFE, he surely will get one for this film.
One last comment I'll make about the Spanish language films I've seen thus far at the festival has to do with the lasting impression of seeing people brush their teeth. In just about every film one character or several are shown in the bathroom (or kitchen) brushing their God damn teeth. I kept looking to see if a tube of Colgate or Crest was gonna show up as so often happens in American made films (product placement, don't ya know).
On that note, I'll close for now and say, 'Adios, amigo'.
Thursday, September 1, 2011
A TURD BY ANY OTHER NAME...
I recently had a bout with constipation while recuperating from hernia surgery. Swallowing pain killers every 4 hours during the first few days of post surgery, I braced myself for this possibility. On the night table were my book of the moment, pain killers, stool softeners and a glass of juice mixed with several spoonfuls of Metamucil. I was prepared for the worst of times...the best of times.
By day 3 I was feeling no pain thanks to Oxycodone, but sometimes to gain something you gotta lose something and what I lost was the ability to make (choose one of countless synonyms here) DOO-DOO. By day 4 I had gained five pounds and looked like I was in the 5th month of pregnancy.
I got desperate and used the douche hose that is installed in my bathtub with limited success (no self respecting homosexual that I know would not have one). What came out I can only describe as small round pellets, milk duds if you will. I did not feel any real relief. And the stool softeners (Colace) that costs $20 for 60 capsules were of no help. For what they cost, I should have been dropping fur lined logs, but no go.
To take my mind off the matter, I walked over to Dupont Circle, a short 5 block walk from where I live in Washington, D.C. to feed peanuts to my 'pet' squirrels there. My surgeon had prohibited me from riding my bike but she had recommended that I get out and do as much walking as I could to facilitate my recovery. On the way home I stopped at my good friends, Nolan and Hynda, and mentioned how miserable I was, not from any residual pain from the surgery, but rather the inability to take a...(again, choose from your favorite synonym) DUMP. They were sympathetic and encouraging and promised that before push came to shove (ouch), I would soon be my old self.
That 'old self' is someone who has hardly missed a day when he hasn't taken a healthy (again...choose) DRECK (I'm jewish, of course).
In the course of our conversation, it dawned on me that there must be a hundred different names that people have used from childhood to adulthood to describe their (the most commonly used) BMs. It got me to thinking that it might be fun (illuminating?) to do a piece on my blog on the subject of...TURDS. So I emailed half a dozen friends and asked them to send back a list of names
they had used whenever referring to their...POOP. What I got back was amazing.
One friend sent me a list of over 20 names, but what I wanted were only those that people actually used as children, young adults, parents and as 'alta cockers' (senior citizens, the group to which I am a bona fide member).
I also wanted to get a survey that included regional considerations. For example, one friend, who happens to be black and was born and raised in Oklahoma, said his family called their BMs 'doo-doo', 'dooky', 'poopie' and 'stinkie'. Another friend said her stepfather (also from Oklahoma) called them (a personal fav of mine on this list) 'padoopies' pronounced 'pa-do-pees, as in "Honey, I'm in the bathroom taking a padoopie."
This same friend (whose mother is French) and lives on a beautifully landscapped estate with a fish pond, gardens and a state-of-the-arts movie theatre in the lower level (you don't say 'basement' in Great Falls) that I am still waiting to be invited to view a film in, says she usually just yells to her husband, "Sweetie, I'm in the bathroom taking a SHIT." I admire her directness, but at the same time it is the last word that I would suspect this very cultured friend to use when mentioning a BM.
Growing up my siblings and I usually referred to our BMs as 'EH-EH'. Like many parents, I don't think mine ever used any words to describe their BMs. A dear friend who grew up in England told me that she had to fight 6 other people in her family to use the one LOO (WC) they shared and they never ever made mention of (choose your fav) KA-KA.
My first girlfriend (I was 5 years old), Roberta Brotman, who was one of 4 sisters and grew up across the street from me, used the word 'GOATS' as in "I'll tell you a secret if you promise not to tell...I just made GOATS."
When I was married (to a wonderful gal I am still mad about), my wife and I used the word, 'DOODIES'. While I was unbelievably 'regular', poor Charl often went days without defecating and when she did, it was cause for celebration. "Honey, I just made a bunch of DOODIES. To this very day, we still use this word and yes, it is still cause for celebration in her home in Germantown, Md. He didn't offer and I didn't ask, but I suspect her husband, a former military policeman, probably uses the word SHIT. I could be wrong, but I don't think so. Tommy's a no nonsense man's man and I can't imagine his telling Carol that he is going in the bathroom to make doodies.
The list, as you can imagine, is endless. Here are just a few more synonyms for the word: SQUAT, STEAMER, STINK PICKLE, STOOL, WOLF BAIT, LOG, FUDGE, SCAT, GUANO,
DINGLEBERRY, TOOTSIE ROLL, KLINGONS, BLACK BANANA, WATERLOG, LOADIE
and one of my favorites that a former drag queen once told me, BUDDA BABY.
One of my favorite stories from my 26 years at Paramount Pictures in Los Angeles happened one morning when I was in a meeting with the producer, Alan Ladd, Jr., discussing the renovation of his office suite on the studio lot. It was around 9:30am and as he so often did, my 83 year old father had called me and my assistant forwarded the call to Ladd's office where I took it. When I got off, he asked if anything was wrong.
"Oh, no," I said. "He called to tell me he had just taken a healthy SHIT." Laddie roared and we resumed our discussion.
By the way, on the 5th day post surgery, I was able to relieve myself and sing...HAPPY DAYS ARE HERE AGAIN.
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
THESE ARE JUST 2 OF MY FAVORITE FILMS...7 BRIDES - GODFREY
It's the dog days of August and not much happening at the multiplex and even less going on TV right now (other than a few series on premium cable channels), but I was able to catch up with a couple of my all-time fav films on TCM recently. Within 3 days, both MY MAN GODFREY (1936) and 7 BRIDES FOR 7 BROTHERS (1954) were broadcast and I watched them (even though I own the 50th anniversary DVD of BRIDES).
MY MAN GODFREY is one of the great screwball comedies from the l930s. It stars William Powell and Carole Lombard, both Oscar nominated, as were 2 of its supporting actors (Alice Brady and Mischa Auer), its screenplay and director. None won, but more on that a little later.
Lombard plays a ditzy, spoiled socialite who meets Godfrey, a derelict living in the city dump, while playing a silly parlor game. She offers him a job as butler to her family who epitomizes the idle rich.
Her father is played by the great character actor Eugene Palette and her sister by the strikingly beautiful Gail Patrick (actually much prettier than Lombard). You sort of know where the story is going quite early on but it is the getting there that is so much fun.
The screenplay is a gem, the dialogue witty and delivered at a frenetic pace and loud. That is, except for Powell's whose character is really the only sane one in the family he serves. Always suave and smooth, his performance here is letter perfect with some great lines - "The only difference between a rich man and a homeless person is a job." I appreciate his performance more each time I watch it. He is that good.
Two years yearlier (1934) a film similar in style - IT HAPPENED ONE NIGHT - won all the major
Oscars including best film, best actor (GABLE) and best actress (COLBERT). MY MAN GODFREY should have picked up the same awards because it is superior to the earlier comedy.
But it got caught in studio politics and behind the scene 'trades'.
Membership in the Academy was composed mainly of studio employees who included actors, writers, directors and executives under contract to the various studios with MGM having the greatest number. To push his studio's (MGM) THE GREAT ZIEGFIELD over the top for best film and to get Louise Rainer the Oscar for best actress for ZIEGFIELD, studio chief Leo B. Mayer instructed his people to vote for Paul Muni for best actor (in Warner Bros's THE STORY OF LOUIS PASTEUR) over his own studio's Spencer Tracy who was nominated for SAN FRANCISCO. Mayer was only too happy to have Muni win since he was starring in his studio's THE GOOD EARTH about to be released at the time that year's Oscars were being announced.
Jack Warner at WARNER BROS. didn't mind that ZIEGFIELD won because he had THE LIFE OF EMILE ZOLA (starring Paul Muni) set to take top honors the following year when Spencer Tracy finally won for MGM'S CAPTAIN COURAGEOUS.
Damn confusing, n'est pa?
The big loser in all of this studio manipulation of votes was MY MAN GODFREY (which wasn't even nominated for best film) and William Powell who should have won the Oscar for best actor over Paul Muni. Easy. No contest. It is a performance, unlike Muni's, that is every bit as brilliant today as it was in 1936. Of course, also working against Powell was the fact that his performance was in a comedy and the Academy was now leaning towards more dramatic peformances and films for its awards. Also nominated in 1936 was A TALE OF TWO CITIES and
ANTHONY ADVERSE. On the other hand, a musical with Deana Durbin from the same studio (Universal) that released GODFREY got nominated for best film that year so maybe I don't really know what the fuck I'm talking about.
Whatever. MY MAN GODFREY is a gem and I can't recommend it highly enough.
My second favorite film here is 7 BRIDES FOR 7 BROTHERS which came out of nowhere when it was released in the same month and year that I was bar mitvahed in (July, 1954). I remember taking the streetcar downtown to the Lowe's Capitol Theatre on F Street to see it 7 days in a row.
Starring Howard Keel and Jane Powell, it is one of the great original movie musicals (along with SINGING IN THE RAIN) and features some terrific songs and dancing.
MGM had put all its money and publicity efforts behind its production of BRIGADOON. 7 BRIDES got a green light only after its producers agreed to do it on a very tight budget and on sound stages in Culver City rather than on location. Some 2nd unit exterior shooting took place in Utah but all the production numbers were done on sets and you can actually see the drapes (supposedly mountains and clouds) moving behind Jane Powell when she is singing early in the film.
But no mind. The ensemble cast of contract players, including a very young Russ Tamblyn, and dancers, including Jacques d'Amboise from the NY City Ballet, is high energy and a treat to behold.
Directed by Stanley Donen with choreography by Michael Kidd, the film became MGM's biggest box office hit of that year (BRIGADOON tanked) and garnered 5 major Oscar nominations, including best picture, which it deserved (unlike the also nominated 3 COINS IN THE FOUNTAIN).
It won none, but who cares (ON THE WATERFRONT won for best film that year). I have probably seen it more than any other motion picture ever made and whenever I'm feeling blue,
bored or both, I slip it into the ole DVD player and for the next 100 minutes I'm a happy person.
MY MAN GODFREY is one of the great screwball comedies from the l930s. It stars William Powell and Carole Lombard, both Oscar nominated, as were 2 of its supporting actors (Alice Brady and Mischa Auer), its screenplay and director. None won, but more on that a little later.
Lombard plays a ditzy, spoiled socialite who meets Godfrey, a derelict living in the city dump, while playing a silly parlor game. She offers him a job as butler to her family who epitomizes the idle rich.
Her father is played by the great character actor Eugene Palette and her sister by the strikingly beautiful Gail Patrick (actually much prettier than Lombard). You sort of know where the story is going quite early on but it is the getting there that is so much fun.
The screenplay is a gem, the dialogue witty and delivered at a frenetic pace and loud. That is, except for Powell's whose character is really the only sane one in the family he serves. Always suave and smooth, his performance here is letter perfect with some great lines - "The only difference between a rich man and a homeless person is a job." I appreciate his performance more each time I watch it. He is that good.
Two years yearlier (1934) a film similar in style - IT HAPPENED ONE NIGHT - won all the major
Oscars including best film, best actor (GABLE) and best actress (COLBERT). MY MAN GODFREY should have picked up the same awards because it is superior to the earlier comedy.
But it got caught in studio politics and behind the scene 'trades'.
Membership in the Academy was composed mainly of studio employees who included actors, writers, directors and executives under contract to the various studios with MGM having the greatest number. To push his studio's (MGM) THE GREAT ZIEGFIELD over the top for best film and to get Louise Rainer the Oscar for best actress for ZIEGFIELD, studio chief Leo B. Mayer instructed his people to vote for Paul Muni for best actor (in Warner Bros's THE STORY OF LOUIS PASTEUR) over his own studio's Spencer Tracy who was nominated for SAN FRANCISCO. Mayer was only too happy to have Muni win since he was starring in his studio's THE GOOD EARTH about to be released at the time that year's Oscars were being announced.
Jack Warner at WARNER BROS. didn't mind that ZIEGFIELD won because he had THE LIFE OF EMILE ZOLA (starring Paul Muni) set to take top honors the following year when Spencer Tracy finally won for MGM'S CAPTAIN COURAGEOUS.
Damn confusing, n'est pa?
The big loser in all of this studio manipulation of votes was MY MAN GODFREY (which wasn't even nominated for best film) and William Powell who should have won the Oscar for best actor over Paul Muni. Easy. No contest. It is a performance, unlike Muni's, that is every bit as brilliant today as it was in 1936. Of course, also working against Powell was the fact that his performance was in a comedy and the Academy was now leaning towards more dramatic peformances and films for its awards. Also nominated in 1936 was A TALE OF TWO CITIES and
ANTHONY ADVERSE. On the other hand, a musical with Deana Durbin from the same studio (Universal) that released GODFREY got nominated for best film that year so maybe I don't really know what the fuck I'm talking about.
Whatever. MY MAN GODFREY is a gem and I can't recommend it highly enough.
My second favorite film here is 7 BRIDES FOR 7 BROTHERS which came out of nowhere when it was released in the same month and year that I was bar mitvahed in (July, 1954). I remember taking the streetcar downtown to the Lowe's Capitol Theatre on F Street to see it 7 days in a row.
Starring Howard Keel and Jane Powell, it is one of the great original movie musicals (along with SINGING IN THE RAIN) and features some terrific songs and dancing.
MGM had put all its money and publicity efforts behind its production of BRIGADOON. 7 BRIDES got a green light only after its producers agreed to do it on a very tight budget and on sound stages in Culver City rather than on location. Some 2nd unit exterior shooting took place in Utah but all the production numbers were done on sets and you can actually see the drapes (supposedly mountains and clouds) moving behind Jane Powell when she is singing early in the film.
But no mind. The ensemble cast of contract players, including a very young Russ Tamblyn, and dancers, including Jacques d'Amboise from the NY City Ballet, is high energy and a treat to behold.
Directed by Stanley Donen with choreography by Michael Kidd, the film became MGM's biggest box office hit of that year (BRIGADOON tanked) and garnered 5 major Oscar nominations, including best picture, which it deserved (unlike the also nominated 3 COINS IN THE FOUNTAIN).
It won none, but who cares (ON THE WATERFRONT won for best film that year). I have probably seen it more than any other motion picture ever made and whenever I'm feeling blue,
bored or both, I slip it into the ole DVD player and for the next 100 minutes I'm a happy person.
Monday, August 1, 2011
I'M IN LOVE WITH LAURA LINNEY
I'm in love with Laura Linney.
I think I have been ever since I first saw her portray Mary Ann Singleton in the first TALES OF THE CITY mini-series on PBS in 1993. She was exactly as I had envisioned Mary Ann Singleton while reading the wonderful series of novels by Armistead Maupin. Perfectly cast, she went on to appear in the following 2 installments of the TALES book sequels (MORE TALES & FURTHER TALES), doing so even after she had established herself as a leading actress in films such as CONGO, PRIMAL FEAR and ABSOLUTE POWER.
When she did appear in the TALES sequels, I was very impressed and so happy that she did. She could have said, "No, I'm a movie star now, I don't do TV," but she didn't. She couldn't have been paid much to be in the series. After all, we're talking public television here. But act in them she did much to my happiness, because by then I had developed a serious crush on her.
Not a sexual kind of thing. After all, I'm gay. I adored the actor who played Michael in TALES but it was Laura Linney I remembered.
I worked at Paramount when she starred opposite Jim Carrey in THE TRUMAN SHOW in 1998
and I managed to snag a tix to the world premiere at the Chinese Theatre on Hollywood Blvd. not because I wanted to see the film that much, but because I was hoping to meet Ms. Linney at the post-premiere party. I didn't get to meet her, but I did see her fairly up close and she's prettier in person than she is on screen.
She made appearances in the Oscar winning MYSTIC RIVER in 2003 and co-starred in LOVE ACTUALLY and THE LIFE OF DAVID GALE and was Oscar nominated (best supporting actress) in KINSEY. In 2005 she starred in one of my fav films of the year, THE SQUID AND THE WHALE. Twice she has been nominated for best actress for her performance in THE SAVAGES and YOU CAN COUNT ON ME. It was in these 2 films, the first with Philip Seymour Hoffman and the second with Mark Raffalo, that my school boy crush turned into love. She touched my heart as no actress ever had.
It became a love affair for life when she portrayed Abigal Adams in the HBO series, JOHN ADAMS and took home the Emmy for her amazing performance. In her death bed scene, I sobbed like a baby. Unbelievably real, gut wrenching, brilliant acting.
She has done several plays on Broadway and I was so disappointed that I couldn't get up to NYC to see her performance in TIME STANDS STILL for which she received a Tony nomination.
This love affair has only deepened with the second season of her series (THE BIG C) on Showtime. The series - and Ms. Linney - have gotten even better this year. She's funny. She's
poignant. She can do everything. She's beautiful. She's intelligent. And I'm crazy about her.
Yup. I'm in love with Laura Linney.
I think I have been ever since I first saw her portray Mary Ann Singleton in the first TALES OF THE CITY mini-series on PBS in 1993. She was exactly as I had envisioned Mary Ann Singleton while reading the wonderful series of novels by Armistead Maupin. Perfectly cast, she went on to appear in the following 2 installments of the TALES book sequels (MORE TALES & FURTHER TALES), doing so even after she had established herself as a leading actress in films such as CONGO, PRIMAL FEAR and ABSOLUTE POWER.
When she did appear in the TALES sequels, I was very impressed and so happy that she did. She could have said, "No, I'm a movie star now, I don't do TV," but she didn't. She couldn't have been paid much to be in the series. After all, we're talking public television here. But act in them she did much to my happiness, because by then I had developed a serious crush on her.
Not a sexual kind of thing. After all, I'm gay. I adored the actor who played Michael in TALES but it was Laura Linney I remembered.
I worked at Paramount when she starred opposite Jim Carrey in THE TRUMAN SHOW in 1998
and I managed to snag a tix to the world premiere at the Chinese Theatre on Hollywood Blvd. not because I wanted to see the film that much, but because I was hoping to meet Ms. Linney at the post-premiere party. I didn't get to meet her, but I did see her fairly up close and she's prettier in person than she is on screen.
She made appearances in the Oscar winning MYSTIC RIVER in 2003 and co-starred in LOVE ACTUALLY and THE LIFE OF DAVID GALE and was Oscar nominated (best supporting actress) in KINSEY. In 2005 she starred in one of my fav films of the year, THE SQUID AND THE WHALE. Twice she has been nominated for best actress for her performance in THE SAVAGES and YOU CAN COUNT ON ME. It was in these 2 films, the first with Philip Seymour Hoffman and the second with Mark Raffalo, that my school boy crush turned into love. She touched my heart as no actress ever had.
It became a love affair for life when she portrayed Abigal Adams in the HBO series, JOHN ADAMS and took home the Emmy for her amazing performance. In her death bed scene, I sobbed like a baby. Unbelievably real, gut wrenching, brilliant acting.
She has done several plays on Broadway and I was so disappointed that I couldn't get up to NYC to see her performance in TIME STANDS STILL for which she received a Tony nomination.
This love affair has only deepened with the second season of her series (THE BIG C) on Showtime. The series - and Ms. Linney - have gotten even better this year. She's funny. She's
poignant. She can do everything. She's beautiful. She's intelligent. And I'm crazy about her.
Yup. I'm in love with Laura Linney.
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