Another slate of new films opening today and not a single one holds any interest that would compel me to race out my front door and bike to my nearest multiplex and throw down $9 (senior citizen rates, thank you very much) to see one.
Starting with RANGO, starring the 'voice' of Johnny Depp, in yet another new animated film, this one about a chameleon who has to fend for himself in the Mojave desert and finds himself in a old west town called 'Dirt' inhabited by various desert creatures and becomes a sheriff/hero a la 'High Noon'. Westerns have never been a favorite genre of mine and making one in an animated film interests me even less. I lost that child like wonder for animation when I crossed the half century mark in years. Sorry.
Another new film opening today is THE ADJUSTMENT BUREAU which (apparently) has been sitting on the shelf for some time now. Beware ye of movies collecting dust while waiting for a distributor or better time slot in which to open. Still, the Washington Post gave it 3-1/2 stars out of 4, a rarity indeed and headlined "When 'Blade Runner' Meets Alfred Hitchcock". The desk editor who dreamed up this cap might be accused of overstatement and Ms. Ann Hornaday who wrote the review probably cringed when she saw it. I presume David Denby of The New Yorker saw the same cut. He called the film, "flimsy" and in the end, "a downer". Never a big fan of the writer, Philip K. Dick, who wrote the story that the fiilm is adapted from, I think I'll pass.
Moving right along, we have TAKE ME HOME TONIGHT, which according to reviews, is a throwback to 80s nostalgia. I don't recall having recently experienced any feelings of nostalgia for this decade so I will refrain from throwing down $9 (remember, senior citizen rates) to see this piece of shit. Furthermore, I refuse to see any film starring an actor with the name of Topher Grace.
Just what kind of name is TOPHER??? Not tonight...or any other night.
For foreign film fans (moi), there is A SOMEWHAT GENTLE MAN. I do prefer original language with English subtitles though I must admit a certain aversion to all of the Scandanavian languages...they just sound so weird. Just try watching any Bergman film, great as they are, and keep a straight face. This new film from Norway is about a recently paroled career criminal with a paunchy belly and receding hairline and ponytail who apparently gets more pussy than Brad Pitt ever did in his early films. Being gay, I think I'll pass on this one.
Back to English language films, there's THE GRACE CARD which sports an evangelical message and has been called by at least one critic as "inspirational" and "uplifting". That's enough to scare this agnostic off. But if you're a believer, be my guest.
Last, but certainly not least, is the new documentary, THE LAST LIONS. I remember fondly all of the Disney documentaries from the 50s about the wilds of Africa, lions and tigers and bears (oh my), The Living Desert, etc., but having just watched on cable tv a National Geographic doc about lions and tigers and leopards and how they care for their cubs, I cant imagine what this new film has to offer that I haven't seen before.
Still in release is BARNEY'S VERSION, starring one of my fav actors, Paul Giamatti, but I just cant seem to get it up to pluck down $9 to see it. There's also CEDAR RAPIDS that the NY Times' A.O. Scott (just what does A.O. stand for?) called "a tender and raunchy comedy of self discovery." Tender and raunchy? Spare me.
I'd go see KABOOM by gay filmmaker Greg Araki, but if I want to see some erotic foreplay on screen, I can always throw one of my porn flicks in the DVD player and...(OMG TMI).
Fret not. There's still a few more days of 31 DAYS OF OSCAR left on TCM.
And there's always next Friday.
Well done, Robaire.
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